There’s nothing to be ashamed of if you use the new year as a means of getting your sh*t together.

I mean, everyone’s in on it.

The vibes? Great. The spirits? High. Everyone’s motivation in life? Seriously overwhelming.

I mean, why wouldn’t you want to take advantage of the fact that this is a new year and a new decade? This is exciting!

While some people think new years resolutions are unproductive, I think otherwise. I think it’s all about making goals for yourself that start out small and intimate, and then lead to greater, more complex achievements you can run with down the line. I also think it’s actually about caring to achieve your goals and not half-assing them or being okay if they don’t come to fruition.

This is a time to think of yourself, take care of yourself, and allow yourself to be patient in your process.

In this blog post, I want to focus on five mindset changes for 2020 that I think help with your overall wellbeing in this new year.

Protect your mind and heart from negative energy.

Perhaps easier said than done if you’re a sensitive person who easily takes on other people’s energy and emotions.

While there is power in empathy, it can be draining and exhausting to your well-being if you don’t know how to protect yourself from negative energy.

I have two words of advice.

First, imagine a gold bubble around your body. This golden bubble is your shield and it will only allow positive energy to enter. Negativity can’t pass through because your golden bubble is shining bright and you won’t allow it to be dulled. It has strength and you will not allow it to be weak. It offers protection and you will not allow it to betray you.

Second, no matter what the situation is, observe, don’t react. There’s a difference in an asshole driver cutting you off and you screaming and flipping them off (hi, guilty) as opposed to an asshole driver cutting you off and you observing their ridiculous and dangerous behavior and carrying on with your day unbothered. I can’t tell you how many times I have chosen to react and then I replay the event over and over in my head and it begins to anger me even more.

Think small in terms of what you find beautiful.

One thing I’ve learned about keeping my spirits high, my heart tender, and my mind at a good frequency is to find beauty in the small things.

We overlook so many ordinary, everyday things in our life but what if we cocked our head and found beauty in the mundane? How do you think that would affect the way you see and treat the world?

I can confidently tell you that you will begin to have a change of heart and mind. They will be filled with a little more gratitude, a little more satisfaction, a little more splendor. A little more peace.

Practice awareness when it comes to your habits.

As humans, we run so automatically in the way we think and do things. We are often not aware of what our habits are because they come so naturally.

I challenge you to pinpoint a habit that may be negatively affecting you, whether it’s a physical or mental, confront it, and work on ways to combat it.

For example, physically, I’m working on adjusting my posture by using a laptop stand, constantly reminding myself to stand up straight, and doing these wall exercises that target the back of my neck and upper back every single night before I go to bed.

Mentally, I am working on not being so reactive as well as facing my automatic behavior when it comes to social anxiety. It’s a work in progress.

Get comfortable with the fact that success is never a straight line up.

Whether you’re thinking about it in terms of your career, relationships, friendships, or self, success is never a straight line up.

First off, you’re doing yourself a disservice if you believe that this is the reality of anything in life. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment; get real with yourself.

Any journey worth taking will present obstacles. These obstacles are to be conquered and with that, lessons are to be learned. It’s a positive thing, really.

Do you recall overcoming a challenge in your pursuit, whatever it may have been? Do you remember how amazing you felt about yourself for doing that, all on your own? I bet I know the answer.

Embrace the challenges, learn from them, and let them lift you to a higher sense of self.

Approach negative self-talk with tenderness.

I don’t know about you, but I’m notorious for talking shit about myself and I’ve only recently become aware of this habit and have been making moves to overcome it.

Negatively talking to yourself is not productive for your confidence, your pursuit of self-love, or your overall well-being.

I used to do it a ton when I wasn’t satisfied with what I was creating or if my ADHD was in full force.

In regard to my creations, it usually went along the lines of: This is shit, I’m not happy with it. Why can’t I fucking create something I’m proud of? Why is this taking so long? Seriously, you can do so much better than that.

Or, in regard to my ADHD, it usually went like: Wow, I really forgot about my tea in the microwave for the THIRD TIME TODAY?! Why am I in this room again? Where the hell is my _____ ?! Oh, it’s right in front of my face. Ah, shit, I keep forgetting to do that thing I keep telling myself to do.

When it comes to my personal goals: Why is this so easy for people? Why am I having such a hard time, why am I so scared, why do I feel so behind and underdeveloped in these categories?!

Do you get the picture?

Instead of this negative self-talk, I have chosen to talk to myself with tenderness.

Instead of being aggressive and overly critical of my work and myself, I remind myself that I need to be patient in my pursuits and can’t expect immediately success every single time. Instead of being annoyed with myself for my forgetfulness or inattentiveness, I literally tell myself, “Oh, you’re so silly” and then carry out the task I’ve been meaning to do.

I don’t judge myself. I observe and carry on. This is similar to what I said above about observing and not reacting.

All in all, it’s important to treat yourself with the golden heart that you have for everyone else. You owe that to yourself.

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