Jocelyn // art diaries.
This past year away at college shifted my perspective on many, many things. But what I want to talk about today is how differently I physically view women.
I don't think I am attracted to women sexually or in a way that I'd want to be with one, but I am constantly struck by women's beauty..day in and day out. I guess this began after I noticed this girl at school. I'd see her a lot and I'd get butterflies in my stomach and didn't quite know why. I guess it was me trying to fight off the feeling that I could possibly be attracted to her. Whenever I caught glimpse of her, I couldn't stop admiring her. I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to know her, I wanted to know every inch of her. She was striking.
This feeling was a different one (which definitely made me question myself, to say the least.) But it got me thinking... wow, women truly are so beautiful.
One thing that really grabs my attention is the shape of women's bodies. We're all so different, so unique, and our figures are so beautifully created. Our curves, muscles, and bones are artistic if you will. What's truly remarkable is that our bodies are all entirely different, but we're all so beautiful, so so beautiful.
Since I can remember, drawing bones, and skulls in particular, has been an absolute favorite of mine. I never really drew people or faces simply because they were hard and I didn't enjoy the amount of patience it took to learn how to do them. They always ended up ~alright~ and then I'd feel like the 9+ hours I spent on them was just a complete waste. So I stuck to what I enjoyed and tried excelling there.
Years passed and I felt like it was time to conquer something new. Figure drawing and portraits are something I need to learn so I figured I'd give it a go but take a more realistic approach to it. So I decided to start small and start with conquering hands. I know what you're thinking: Really Haley? Hands? Hands are the hardest thing to draw. Well, in fact, I felt satisfaction in tackling this. Drawing hands came surprisingly easy to me. I had a pen in my right hand and used my left hand as a model. Since my best work is realism, I felt like this was perfect. I was working from a real life hand that I could move and manipulate in order to fully understand and draw.
This new skill moved me. Dramatic, I know, but it's the truth. The amount of emotion I could create by drawing a hand in a certain way excited me, it pulled me in. It made me want to continue to draw and evoke emotion through this little body part. So I continued to practice.
Because I'm always on to the next thing, I felt that I needed to keep moving forward. One day when I was on Instagram, I scrolled past a photo of this lovely lady who went to my high school, Jocelyn Nickel. She has supported my art since high school; I'm truly grateful for it. Additionally, she's a model and a beautiful human being. This photo of her completely inspired me. The curves, shadows and overall form of her body in this photo made my eyes widen in awe. I had to draw it.
I dropped my phone and ran into my art room. I scurried through my art supplies and settled on paper my grandma gave me - very thin and aged from the sun. If only I brought charcoal with me back home from school, because that medium would have brought out all the features so much better than pencil. But all I had was pencil. So I began drawing.
I was fixed on this. Never had I enjoyed drawing a body more so than now. I think I was just really inspired and focused and that's what made this such a pleasant drawing experience. And also, as obviously talked about, I had this new found appreciation for women's bodies. All this made me feel really happy about the finished piece.